Wake-boarding: something new for the list


Today I finally ticked wake-boarding off of my list of things to do, though to actually have a list would be impossible as it would have to have everything on it. So I’m happy to finally add it to the list of things I have done.

I’ve been wanting to go wake-boarding for ages now. That and surfing, guess I was meant to start wake-boarding first as after two holidays which I took for the sole intention of surfing…I still haven’t been surfing.

It turns out that wake-boarding is pretty easy.Or perhaps, as I was told by the instructor,…I’m a natural.

I had my doubts in the beginning as I wondered whether I would make it up first time or fall flat on my face like an idiot. It turned out to be neither and both in the end; I made it up fine, but then things got a little wobbly. I think the instructor slowed to stop from pulling me off balance but i just kept thinking “go, go, GOOO!!”…..too late.. SPLASH, I was down. “Damn” I thouht to myself “is it going to be like this the whole time?”

I turned, grabbed the rope and gave the instructor a thumbs up to let him know I was good to go. The cable pulled dutifully and I was up, I was up and gliding across the water as  if I had done it a dozen times before.  The end of the cable was coming up and that meant the turn. Now this is a straight cable which means that it stops for a second and then goes back the same way, operated obviously by the instructor. Now to me it was obvious that you need to carve out wide to keep the tension in the line to allow you to turn and keep going without sinking like the titanic.

Watching the people that preceded me, however, made me doubt how easy it was as I watched them sink time and again. I guess I should remember…I am not most people! Coming up to the end of the cable I carved out, hoping that the instructor was on the same wavelength as me and was ready to keep the rope pulling cos I was going for the turn. Well he was, he did…. and I nailed it. It was kind of underwhelming yet at the same time pretty damn awesome, I hadn’t expected to nail it on the first turn. “That was really good” the instructor yelled as I successfully did a second turn back near the starting point.

Feeling more comfortable with the board and the pull of the cable I wanted more and started carving out on the straight. Cutting across on the toe edge a jerk of the cable caught me off balance, a little over enthusiastic correction and….whack…face plant. It felt so good!!

Learning a new skill should never be easy, it should hurt from time to time. It would just be boring otherwise.

” Do you want to try a jump start” the instructor asked as I got ready for the second run. “Yeah sure” I said, whilst I was thinking…” Hell yeah!”  Okay, I know a jump start is nothing special in wake boarding..it’s actually completely normal, but as someone doing it for the first time I found it pretty cool. The fact that I nailed it first time made it even better.

All too soon the session was over and I found myself wishing that I had more time. Wake-boarding for the first time, however, takes a toll on your hands and after a few minutes your grip begins to suffer. I don’t think I would have lasted too much longer. At the end of the session I found myself thinking that I would definitely be back.

At around £26-£30 a session, it is not really a bank breaking activity but it does mean that it won’t be a very frequent one….especially on my salary, and trying to save money. Though I do believe that it is totally worth it for me. I would gladly take 15 minutes wake-boarding over a night out.

Sports invigorate me and after that session I felt alive and fulfilled, anticipating my return, anxious to do it again and push the limits until I get better….no matter how many times my faces bites water.

Go big or go home!


Back to work

I’ve been finding myself needing some time off. You know when everything, every little thing starts to get to you, get under your skin and bug the hell out of you until you feel as though you are going insane. Haven’t experienced that?…Well then you have a good life. If you have….well you’ll know what I mean.

Realising I still had a week of holidays, I asked my manager if I might be able to take those days. He politely agreed and scratched me of the work rota for the next week and said I could have that week. To be honest I think he knew how much I needed it. Everyone had been telling me that I was looking “down” and “not myself”. They were right.

Well anyway, so I took this week off and I didn’t go anywhere of course as it was a bit short notice and to be honest I just wanted to relax. Besides..I didn’t have any money to go anywhere. Instead I used these days to plan my escape from this place. This place being London, the polluter of my soul.

Time, however, flies and all too soon the days have rushed past in blur bringing about the day I return to work and seemingly a deterioration in the weather to mirror my misery.

10 reasons why I hate London





1. The weather

Summer is the only time, when it doesn’t rain…all the time, it rains, just not all the time. The rest of the year however, it rains….ALL the time!

That’s just the beginning, there’s more…there’s wind. Lot’s of wind! In London, you don’t get a wind blowing from one direction, no in London the wind blows from every flaming direction. People walking around looking as though they just finished a bottle of vodka, staggering from side to side.

2. Nothing to do

On the few days, where the weather permits a cautious venture outdoors, you must ask yourself….what the fuck do i do now? There is nothing fun to do in London. All you have here is museums and bullshit like that. Anything else you have to pay out your ass for…or go outside of London.

3. No English people

Where are the English people?? Don’t get me wrong, I love my foreign friends. I believe though that the majority of the population of a place should be locals. In that case, I have no idea which damn country we are living in!

4. It smells

Industrial pollution, car exhausts, trash bins everywhere and if you go into the centre of London in the morning, you will get a lovely fresh aroma….of piss and vomit! London is an assault on the sense of smell.

5. Full of drunks and idiots

First thing in the morning, you step outside and you will see someone coming out of the off licence with alcohol and start drinking. Seriously, it’s fucking 8 am! Go get a job and stop spending all my tax money on booze asshole!

Then there are the idiots. Man in a restaurant : ” Ummm, what you got?”  Waiter: ” Ummm, open the fucking menu and find out you dumb shit!”

6. Crime and emergencies

Day in and day out there is an emergency of some sort in London, so wherever you are your ears will be assaulted by the sirens of emergency vehicles. Seriously could they make them any louder, or high pitched??

7. Cost of travel

£36.80 a week….A WEEK!! just so i can go to work and back home, then to work again. And the question is for what?? The trains that never work, or for the bus drivers that don’t know how to drive?? And every year it goes up…FOR WHAT???

8. Rent

Could the flats in London get any smaller. Almost half of my monthly salary is spent on rent, so that i can live in fucking box!

9. Living next to a main road

They say the city never sleeps, I know this to be true because I never sleep. “Why do I never sleep?” you might ask….Because the city NEVER sleeps! Cars driving up and down at all hours and just when you are about to drift off…..WWEEEUUUWWW…….someone…..somewhere….has an emergency!

10. I can’t go fishing

Fishing, my time of reflection and peace, and i can’t do it here! Firstly, you need a fishing licence, which I can deal with. Then you have to find a place where the fish haven’t all been poisoned from pollution.

The reservoirs perhaps. NOT LIKELY!! You have to pay to fish at the reservoir, after you already paid for your licence. You have to pay for the number of fish you are going to catch…before you catch them. 5 fish = £? etc.. so every time I want to fish I have to rob myself of close to £20 pounds if not more. The question is, how the fuck am I supposed to know how many fish I will catch!? What if I don’t catch any fish??…are you going to refund me? Of course you won’t!! So take your licence and take my fishing rod…..and stick them where the sun don’t shine!

I will stop with 10 reason why I hate London so that I might be able to watch the sunset. London’s polluted air, does make for some beautiful sunsets. So yes, I will watch the sunset whilst being serenaded by yet another police siren.

Thank you for reading…