Change five things in my life?

Today’s daily prompt is called To-Do? Done! and it says this :

Quickly list five things you’d like to change in your life. Now, write a post about a day in your life once all five have been crossed off your to-do list.

So five things I would like to change in my life. Well yes, I would most probably like to change many things in my life, as everyone probably would. There is always a moment in a day when you think ” if only I was /Β had / did ” or ” I wish I was / had / did.” There are always those moments when we wish that we were different, or that we could change something in our lives, and for that moment we can imagine an alternate reality. However when faced with the question of listing five things I would change in my life, this must be my answer:

Nothing

Nothing, really!?? Why? You might ask. The answer is quite simple. I have asked myself this question several, several thousands of times even, over the years and I have imagined those alternate realities. It is in those alternate realities that I discover someone else, a stranger in my body, in my mind.

The fact of the matter is, that I am who I am, and if I were to change anything I would not be me, I would be a stranger.

Let me explain….

As a child I was very short, however it didn’t matter to me as I was great at swimming, and everyone knew it. I took pleasure in being underestimated due to my size and to see the shock of other swimmers faces when they finished the race just to see that they got beaten by a shorty. I had confidence, and behind me I had a comfortable life. My family had enough money and I wanted for nothing.

Overtime things changed.

Nobody wanted to date a short shit, I was teased for my large nose, I discovered I had a dental problem which took twelve years of treatment including several operations, painful treatments, painful recoveries, and the wearing of devices that weren’t the most fashionable. We faced financial problems, I stopped doing all the sports that I loved and my self esteem plummeted to an all time low, and puberty brought along a deterioration in my skin just to ice the cake.

I could explain in more detail but I think you catch the drift.

Things just seemed to get worse, as my dad’s business went bust and we were forced to sell the house that my sister and I grew up in. Eventually almost broke, Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We up and sold every possession in order to move to UK to get the right treatment for my father and in hope of better opportunities for us all. Not quite what we planned, but we are surviving somehow.

So again, why would I not change anything?

All the pain and loss I experienced growing up humbled me to a tremendous extent and taught me so many lessons in life and the appreciation of life. When you spend four weeks on a liquid diet due to your jaws being tied shut after an operation….you learn the appreciation of food.

You see, I took all that I had for granted, and when it was all gone, I missed it, but I learnt to appreciate what I did have and the person that I became as a result of triumphing over my testing times in life

I could have become the pompous, rich kid, who had all the money, the girls, the cars, the bikes, but I would be that pompous rich kid, with the attitude, the constant chip on his shoulder, expecting people to kiss the ground he walked on. I just don’t see myself that way.

I learnt the hard way that everything in life needs to be appreciated, most of all family, because in a blink of an eye they can be taken from you. I now believe in earning whatever I get. I work hard to support myself and my family and I work hard to earn the money that I use to pay for my possessions. I am who I am because of the life I lived, and the life that I live now; I wouldn’t change that.

Life is difficult, but any lessons worth learning were never easy and that is why I say, when considering this question on a serious note…. I wouldn’t change anything. There is a lot of good that has been discovered in the wreckage left by the bad even if we still have to live in the rubble.

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Wanderlust Travellers

A couple of wanderlust travellers on an adventure around the world together

2 thoughts on “Change five things in my life?”

  1. You. sir, have had experiences, awareness and, growth that many will never have. And look at who they have created today?! I am impressed with your candor and the strength in your voice (well, these words). For all you have traveled, you possess perspectives that may well be the envy of many. Applauding and bowing here.

    1. That is really wonderful of you to say Eric. Thank you so much for your kind words. Everyone has their experiences in life, as i’m sure you have had too, and I know that there are many out there who have it worse than I. I know how easy it is to fall into despair and I hope that there are others out there able to find the strength to find the positives that may not be so easily visible, and if I could help just one person to find that path, I would be happy, for the world would be just that little bit brighter for it. Thanks again for your kind words Eric, they will stay with me.

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