Q. How soon should I call/text her?
A. You’re thinking “that’s easy!”. Four day rule right? Forget the four day rule or three day rule or whatever it is. I mean seriously, are you going to sit there thinking, “okay this is day one, day two…etc” I honestly hope not because I am picturing you looking like an idiot.
If you want to call, just call. She wouldn’t have given you her number if she wanted you to wait four flaming days!! Though I would advise against calling after 15 mins, that’s just sad!
Q. Should I add her on Facebook?
A. If you are, then you are not asking yourself this question and you should be. So ask yourself this question, and answer yourself “NO!” or “HELL NO!”
What are you even thinking?? Facebook comes in only after the relationship starts…for several reasons, some of which I will now point out:
As soon as you add that girl on facebook she is going to investigate the hell out of you. And based on what she sees, she will create an opinion of you and that could mean the end before there is even a beginning.
Or lack thereof. Facebook removes everything important from the beginning of a relationship. Nothing is left to be found out about each other that you haven’t found out already on facebook.
Questions such as ” what did you get up to today?” become statements such as ” I saw on FB that you did _______ today.”
So instead of getting an explanation of her day, you will simply get “yes, I did.” I see the makings of a great dead end conversation!!
Someone posts a status about you doing something she doesn’t like, or worse pictures of you with a female friend, then you’ve a got a situation that you really don’t need. Save yourself the hassle.
Q. Why does replying too soon land me in the friend zone?
A. This is one of my favourites. You see, apparently texting back straight away makes you look desperate, as if you were eagerly waiting for her text. It is completely insane to think that you may have just had your phone on you and have the common courtesy to reply to a text. Completely insane! I mean, who keeps their phone on them these days??
I imagine a situation where I could be lying somewhere dying, only being able to press the dial button. It’s a girl’s number. She looks at the screen and thinks “let me not answer straight away… I don’t want to seem desperate!”….. Yeah thanks, I’ll just die now!!
Q. Why doesn’t she reply straight away?
A. Same as above. She doesn’t want to look desperate…even though she may be. She is scared that it will make her look “easy”…I know, stupid right! Who would think that….? ( wait don’t answer that )
Another reason is she is playing hard to get. She is power playing you, trying to make you wait and work for her attention….. “Good boooy.”
Q. Should I go for the kiss?
A. Okay a proper question deserving a proper answer.
Yes!! Definitely. If it feels right, do it! ( note this doesn’t apply to completely random strangers….though, maybe it could work)
Girls love confidence, and nothing shows confidence like going in for that kiss. You are taking a chance, and that takes balls. Show her how big your balls are! ( No, I did not mean literally!! )
Best case scenario is she kisses you back and you spend the rest of the night or day sticking your tongues down each other’s throats and then….well you know where it goes from there.
Worst case scenario is that she says no and you are in the exact same position as you were before, though know you know where you stand at least. If you don’t try, you will never know.
Don’t second guess yourself either. If you are going to go for it, go for it.
You will never regret trying and failing, but you will regret not trying at all!!
Q. Why does the guy have to make the first move?
A. Because society dictates it to be so. I think there is a scripture somewhere that states ” And so it was, that man made the first move.”
Okay seriously, as I said earlier, making the first move shows confidence which girls require you to prove to them that you possess, or they split. They have a checklist you see. Good looking, check. Funny, check. Makes first move, check..etc..
I also think that some girls are just too chicken shit to make the first move themselves. ( you didn’t hear that from me. )
You can be surprised from time to time, there is the odd occasion where the girl makes the first move. Impossible though it sounds, I know it to be true. I know because it happened to me. Lucky son of a gun. Girl made the first move, the second move, the third…. I still wonder if it wasn’t just a dream.
Q. How do I get out of the friend zone?
A. Sorry pal, you are in jail, sentenced to death without the option of parole.
The truth is that you are most likely in the friend zone because you care too much and/or are obsessed with the broad in question.
If you are asking how to get out of the friend zone, that means you still feel the same, keeping you firmly behind bars!!
The only time that you may, I reiterate, may, get out of the friend zone is if you happen to hook up with another girl and completely forget about the last one, thereby not spending all your thoughts and time on her. Resulting in you falling out of the friend zone as you forget about what’s her face….catch my drift?
And in case you are wondering what happens if she thereafter comes running to you….STAY THE HELL AWAY!! If she friend zoned you it will never work…. NEVER!!
Q. What do woman want?
A. If you ask yourself this question and are a little confused, go and ask a woman. If you return more confused than before asking her, you got the right answer.
They do not know what they want!!
Truth is, neither do we really, so who can judge.
Q. What is she thinking?
A. This question is to approached with extreme caution. Wherever possible, don’t ask as you will regret it.
By asking what they are thinking, you are inviting yourself into the debate she has going on in her head.
She will include you into her thought process, going so far as to ask your opinion. Upon the offering of which, you will realise you are not part of it at all. Your opinion is falling on deaf ears. Even though she may be nodding in acknowledgement….she’s didn’t hear a thing you said!
You see, by asking you, she is just thinking out loud, actually answering her own questions in her mind as she goes along. You are just a mannequin in a shop window.
So now you find yourself in a position where you want to leave because you are absolutely not required, but can’t because “you have to help me decide!”, all the while regretting that you asked “what are you thinking?”
Q. Was it something I said?
A. Yes, yes it was something you said. What did you say? It doesn’t matter!!
When a girl is having a bad day, or even worse….their period, everything is your fault!
So whatever you say, or don’t say ( yes not saying anything is bad too ) is going to get you in trouble. You can’t win!? I know, I know it seems you can’t win, but hey if she means anything to you, you’ll take the hits for her without resentment. It’s your duty as her boyfriend, hopefully she’ll make it up to you with a nice apology later…
Thanks for reading…