10 reasons why I hate London

 

 

london

 

1. The weather

Summer is the only time, when it doesn’t rain…all the time, it rains, just not all the time. The rest of the year however, it rains….ALL the time!

That’s just the beginning, there’s more…there’s wind. Lot’s of wind! In London, you don’t get a wind blowing from one direction, no in London the wind blows from every flaming direction. People walking around looking as though they just finished a bottle of vodka, staggering from side to side.

2. Nothing to do

On the few days, where the weather permits a cautious venture outdoors, you must ask yourself….what the fuck do i do now? There is nothing fun to do in London. All you have here is museums and bullshit like that. Anything else you have to pay out your ass for…or go outside of London.

3. No English people

Where are the English people?? Don’t get me wrong, I love my foreign friends. I believe though that the majority of the population of a place should be locals. In that case, I have no idea which damn country we are living in!

4. It smells

Industrial pollution, car exhausts, trash bins everywhere and if you go into the centre of London in the morning, you will get a lovely fresh aroma….of piss and vomit! London is an assault on the sense of smell.

5. Full of drunks and idiots

First thing in the morning, you step outside and you will see someone coming out of the off licence with alcohol and start drinking. Seriously, it’s fucking 8 am! Go get a job and stop spending all my tax money on booze asshole!

Then there are the idiots. Man in a restaurant : ” Ummm, what you got?”  Waiter: ” Ummm, open the fucking menu and find out you dumb shit!”

6. Crime and emergencies

Day in and day out there is an emergency of some sort in London, so wherever you are your ears will be assaulted by the sirens of emergency vehicles. Seriously could they make them any louder, or high pitched??

7. Cost of travel

£36.80 a week….A WEEK!! just so i can go to work and back home, then to work again. And the question is for what?? The trains that never work, or for the bus drivers that don’t know how to drive?? And every year it goes up…FOR WHAT???

8. Rent

Could the flats in London get any smaller. Almost half of my monthly salary is spent on rent, so that i can live in fucking box!

9. Living next to a main road

They say the city never sleeps, I know this to be true because I never sleep. “Why do I never sleep?” you might ask….Because the city NEVER sleeps! Cars driving up and down at all hours and just when you are about to drift off…..WWEEEUUUWWW…….someone…..somewhere….has an emergency!

10. I can’t go fishing

Fishing, my time of reflection and peace, and i can’t do it here! Firstly, you need a fishing licence, which I can deal with. Then you have to find a place where the fish haven’t all been poisoned from pollution.

The reservoirs perhaps. NOT LIKELY!! You have to pay to fish at the reservoir, after you already paid for your licence. You have to pay for the number of fish you are going to catch…before you catch them. 5 fish = £? etc.. so every time I want to fish I have to rob myself of close to £20 pounds if not more. The question is, how the fuck am I supposed to know how many fish I will catch!? What if I don’t catch any fish??…are you going to refund me? Of course you won’t!! So take your licence and take my fishing rod…..and stick them where the sun don’t shine!

I will stop with 10 reason why I hate London so that I might be able to watch the sunset. London’s polluted air, does make for some beautiful sunsets. So yes, I will watch the sunset whilst being serenaded by yet another police siren.

Thank you for reading…

 

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Wanderlust Travellers

A couple of wanderlust travellers on an adventure around the world together

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