You’re late and I couldn’t care less!


We are all in charge of our own time, we have no right to tell others how to manage their time. If you prefer to wake up late and run around like a headless chicken to get to work in the morning then that is your business. That is your business and I will not judge you for it, however if you make it my business I will give you my two cents.


So this is for all the people who have made it my business over the years. If you have a train to catch, a theatre to go to, someone to meet or whatever other possible scenario that would cause you to be in a rush….go there!!! Do not, I repeat do not come to me in my place of work and rush me! “As quick as you can because I’m really in a hurry.”  “Yes of course madam, let me just wave my magic wand and pull your order out of my ass for you!” Excuse my language, but %&£# that!! If you know you only have a limited amount of time, why in the hell do you go to a restaurant!?? If you are running for a train, why, for the love of all that is holy, do you decide to stop and buy a sandwich!?? And then, then you put pressure on the staff serving you, convincing yourself that they are the ones making you late. Are you serious!?

If you want to go to a restaurant before the cinema, allow time for it. If you don’t have time, then tough shit, don’t go to the restaurant. The fact of the matter is you won’t enjoy it anyway, you are gonna rush the staff so they won’t be able to give you the friendly service you would like, it’s gonna take time because if you would take a second to notice, you are not the only person in the flaming restaurant are you, are you!!?? Which means that other people are waiting for their food too, which means that you will have to wait just like them!! Then when you finally get your order, you won’t enjoy what you are eating, because with every fork/spoonful you are checking your watch to see how much time you have left, complaining that it took so long to get your order, when in fact it took exactly as long as it should have and you are just an idiot.
Then you rudely stand up and stop the first person you see, who is not in fact your waiter, to pay. They can’t take your payment, because they are not your waiter…did you take the time to notice who was your waiter? Of course you didn’t! No, you’re late, you’re late for a very important date…


So now, your waiter after being unceremoniously bombarded by his/her colleagues whilst he/she is trying to serve another normal customer, has to apologise to them, leaving them mid order to attend to you….because in your mind, you are special, you are above everyone else because you have a movie or theatre to go to. “I’m so sorry to keep you waiting my lord, forgive me for my inability and poor performance. I should be punished for my terrible failure.”
That is when you then leave without so much as a thank you, so much as a smile or any, any show of gratitude whatsoever. “You’re welcome” I say aloud as you leave, intentionally loud enough for you to hear me, so you can know that you are an asshole, and that I think you are an asshole, because you are… An asshole!

People working in restaurants are not your slaves, their job may be to serve you, but that, by no means, means you can treat them any less than you would like to be treated. The truth is, those people are trying to make a living, trying to provide for themselves whilst they pursue their future. Working flexible jobs, such as that of a waiter/waitress whilst they attend university or college.

So next time you go to a restaurant or takeaway in a hurry, know that you only have yourself to blame… Your time is your own. So if you happen to come to me, you may be late but I really couldn’t care less. I have a service to deliver and I will do it as efficiently as permitted because unfortunately I do not possess a magic wand that will allow me to pull your order out of my ass. So thank you and have a lovely day!!



2 thoughts on “You’re late and I couldn’t care less!

  1. betternotbroken

    I used to work at a beach cafe near the airport. People would come up to me as hostess and ask to be seated before everyone because they were in a hurry and had a plane to catch. The typical wait was 45 minutes. I wanted to say, “You shouldn’t be here then, you should be on your way to the airport, it is not our problem.” Instead I said, “I will put your name on the list, the wait is approximately 45 minutes.” Often I had to repeat this 2 to 3 times. One time a woman yelled at me and said “I AM MRS. LASJAKSIDUD-!” Who knows. I had no idea who he was. It didn’t matter if she was married to the pope or the president, the wait is approximately 45 minutes, no I will not come to find you a mile down the beach.

    1. Exactly, some people find it so hard to comprehend that they are exactly like everyone else, just because they have an important job or are wearing an expensive suit, doesn’t mean they get to be served before everyone else…this isn’t the movies where they say ” right this way Mr and Mrs Lasjaksidud”.

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