I have always been a heavy drinker….As soon as i wake up, on my break at work, or even just when i am bored and have nothing to do. I admit it…..i admit it, i have a problem….i am a serial tea and coffee drinker!!
My tea and coffee drinking habits have been going on for years without any consequence, until recently. I fear the forces of hot drinks have noticed my unchecked consumption, my assault on their troops day and night, unforgiving and unrelenting. Finally they have had enough….they are fighting back. Devious in their tactics, they have studied my habits and my techniques, learnt my ways and when and where best to strike. Now the data is complete, they have declared war!
At first they attacked my newly cleaned wooden floor, a full mug of green tea, a kamikaze bomber launched itself of my desk and on to the floor which i had just cleaned. I could hear it yell as it dived ” CLEAN THIS”. Scalding my am as it went.
I passed the next days cautiously, aware of my every move, waiting for the next attack. Until last night, completely distracted by my business on the computer, i wasn’t aware of the attack about to take place. Seizing the moment to strike when i least expected, the tea ( English Breakfast this time ) flooded my keyboard. Helplessly i watched as my comrade drowned in the sweet liquid. I attempted to revive him, but it was too late he was gone!
And now, the very next day, they attacked again…in public! How brazen, i couldn’t believe it. Disguised in a costa logo, the latte launched itself at my face, missed and scalded my chest, leaving behind the scars of it’s attack upon my white t-shirt as i ran from the tube station in search of sanctuary.
I had thought it just to be the tea, now I am sure…it is all hot drinks. They have rallied their forces and are attacking en mass..
……Or maybe i’m just clumsy.